Chive

BY EMMA ANDERSON ‘20 STAFF WRITER So, you wanna start a White Club on campus? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Step 1: Come up with a name. It’s easy! Are you tempted to come dangerously close to sounding like a pre-existing hate group? Do it anyway! It doesn’t matter; it’s not like anything is going to happen to you. It’s just a name! Words don’t hurt! You know what? It helps to mock…

This year’s 4/20 was lit; the holiday came and blazed on for the next week or so, the smell lingering down dorm hallways and the P.O.D. restocking the chip section every hour. Now, a week later, stoners have united and are demanding legalization so they can get high in their houses or in parks or at church. But is that the real reason? What if the fight for legalization is just a façade? I dug…

Listen up, y’all. This is gonna be a long one. It’s me, your good ol’ Chive Editor. This is my last issue, and I have some stuff to get off my chest. I have secrets I’ve been keeping for YEARS, and y’all are gonna hear ‘em. First: Young Hall has a portal to hell in the basement. Second: Greek Life is a subset of the Illuminati. That’s why people are so eager to join. Beyoncé,…

Dean Jepsen reporting, bringing you a Chive special interview with the campus’s bravest student. We all know the feeling of being called on during a lecture, in the middle of a kickass daydream, right in that sweet spot between sleep and consciousness. We all know that surge of adrenaline you get when you’re sucked back into reality after spacing out for a solid 15 minutes, thinking about puppies and cotton candy, forced to face your…