Chive

Disclaimer: All stories in The Chive are works of fiction. People involved in the stories may not have knowledge of their involvement. This section is meant to serve as a humorous break from the daily grind.

Group Project Leaves 3 Dead, 1 Wounded

Posted on by Jack Loessberg
Group Project Leaves 3 Dead, 1 Wounded

An Introduction to Psychology group project leaves three students dead and one slightly wounded after a Wednesday night meeting in the Donnelley and Lee Library to discuss a project that was going south. Amanda Smith ’19 claims that an unknown assailant burst into their study room and began to use the sharpened candy canes, materials of their experiment, to brutally attack her group members. This was a sudden occurrence, for these four unsuspecting freshmen. The…

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MY NAME IS MY NAME! LAST TIME I CHACKED….

Posted on by Jack Loessberg
MY NAME IS MY NAME! LAST TIME I CHACKED….

MY NAME IS MY NAME! LAST TIME I CHACKED…. I AM A-LIVE. I GOT FLASH AND, BONES. I GOT 46 CHROMOZONES! THIS AINT NO, NO TOW ZONE… NOT TODAY! NOPE! NO SIREE BOB! I WILL NOT BE DENIED IN DIS PARKIN’ LOT. C’MON. REALLY? DIS IS SILLY! I JUST WANTED TO GO RUN INTO THA PIGGLY WIGGLY AND GET SOME MILK…FOR MY BABAY BOY. DON’T TOY……………….WITH ME…….I JUST GOT A TICK-ET FOR P-EEING IN PU-BLIC….

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New Study Abroad Location: Hell

Posted on by Camille Lemieux
New Study Abroad Location: Hell

Lake Forest College is pleased to announce its newest study abroad program: Hell! Are you sick of the brutal Illinois winters? Do you want to meet new people of all ages, races, and backgrounds? Do you want to experience a totally new place and culture? Look no further than Hell! That’s right, where the Devil lives. The one with all the fire. Where evil people go to when they die. You don’t have to wait that…

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Lake Forest’s Larry the Farmer

Posted on by Camille Lemieux
Lake Forest’s Larry the Farmer

Larry is a senior at Lake Forest College and majors in agriculture. He’s been saving up for some land to farm in Wisconsin when he graduates. Last weekend, Larry was at a party and saw this super cool chick named Samantha. Larry is a straight guy who knows what he likes. He’s gotten the same Ruben omelet ever since he was a freshman. However, he hasn’t had much luck with ladies during his four years and…

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Looking for Love in All the Right Places

Posted on by Camille Lemieux
Looking for Love in All the Right Places

As a single twenty- something on a college campus, the struggle to find something serious with a guy is all too #real. Where have all the good men gone? This is what I set out to answer when all of this began, but I soon realized that I was asking the wrong question. It’s not so much where they have gone, but where they can be found. Step one: find the men. Step two: initiate contact. Step…

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