Members of the Archaeological Institute of America have come from all over to investigate an artifact found in Lake Forest College’s very own cafeteria: the “grilled cheese.”

If you regularly visit the Gus and Margie Hart Dining Hall to preserve your Flex for the end of the year (which if you don’t, you should, trust me), you know that there are some foods that the cafeteria offers on a daily basis.

Some of these foods include salad, French fries, al dente pizza (oh you didn’t want it to a crisp?) and the newly-discovered-to-be-an-artifact, grilled cheese.

Now according to recipes. howstuffworks.com, grilled cheese came to be in the 1920s, known then as “toasted cheese or melted cheese sandwiches.” Yet the cafeteria serves this “delicatessen” so frequently that you might be thinking, did Aramark discover these sandwiches in a box of endless rations from the Byzantine-Sassanid War?

image credit: clipartpanda.com

image credit: clipartpanda.com

Though the convenience of grilled cheese is that it is considered “cheap,” “nutritious,” as well as filling (as it possibly fed the Byzantines, only the archaeologist will really know), students like Jaime Harris ’18 take issue with its satiability.

Jaime says that “the grilled cheese is never satisfying when I want it. Not melty enough.” If you’ve experienced the grilled cheese first hand, you know that it lacks the gooey quality you might witness in a Kraft singles commercial. Jaime suggests that the Caf discontinue serving these questionable grilled cheeses and instead adopt food from this century.

Lily Collins ’18, like many others, only indulges in Lake Forest College’s grilled cheese variety to “compliment the tomato soup.” Nonetheless, even then, Lily “gravitates to the plain bread over the grilled cheese” due to its “edible consistency.”

Miko Delacruz ’18 has been working closely with the team of archaeologists to provide an outsider’s perspective on the grilled cheeses’ taste, consistency, and overall appeal. Miko’s research has concluded that the worst part of the grilled cheese is the “aftermath. I’m afraid the cheese and I just don’t agree with one another.”

While many students agree that grilled cheese is a staple of the Lake Forest College dining experience, any student who has walked past the hot line enough times might feel that our grilled cheese is way past its prime.

1400 years past, in fact. Though, in reality, does processed cheese even have an expiration date? That’s between Kraft and the archaeologist.


Disclaimer: All stories in The Chive are works of fiction. People involved in the stories may not have knowledge of their involvement. This section is meant to serve as a humorous break from the daily grind.

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