jepsen - Stentor

Flex Dollars Wanted, Pizza Bagels Needed

Posted on April 4, 2017April 9, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

Crisis at Lake Forest College: students across campus are realizing that they’ve exhausted their Flex reserves and have zero dollars left in their accounts. This sweeping epidemic is unlike any dip in the Flex economy we’ve ever seen, with over 50 percent of students completely out of money. Maybe it was the new chili cheese fries at Boomer’s, or maybe it was the Red Bull necessary for counteracting a weekend of all-nighters and beer die….

Johnson Construction Camera Catches Sludge Monster On Tape

Posted on October 19, 2016January 2, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

As Halloween approaches and a clown epidemic sweeps through the nation, it seems that there is evil afoot. Even here, at our wonderful college in Lake Forest, Illinois, we are not spared from the eeriness of October and the oddities she brings. As many are aware, the new science center construction has been broadcast via a live feed for the whole school to see. This allows us to document the great progress being made and…

Staff Writer Forgets to Write This Article

Posted on September 27, 2016November 29, 2016 by Camille Lemieux

Hey… How’s it going LFC? I’m super excited to be back, soaking up college life, and writing for the best newspaper around. God… isn’t the Stentor just great? We have so many different sections, tons of gifted writers—and the freedom to write about whatever we choose. Sometimes you don’t even need a topic to write about! You can just write and write until you eventually hit the word limit and call it a day! Boy,…

Student Disappears Under Pile of Discarded Scarves and Hats in Overly Warm Classroom

Posted on February 9, 2016February 13, 2016 by Camille Lemieux

After a grueling hour and a half search, the College has finally located a missing student—a student whose disappearance had perplexed the entire campus. Having seemingly vanished, the student went missing from class without a trace. Lake Forest staff and students thought he was gone forever and were at a total loss regarding where he could have gone. But, sometimes, miracles happen. At Lake Forest, the impossible can always become possible. The boy was found buried…