Lake Forest College
Election day is upon us! Before you race on over to the polls to conduct the most heart-wrenching and futile vote of your life, it’s important that you weigh the pros and cons of each candidate. Lucky for you, I’m here to share all the juicy factoids that could help you change your support from the worst candidate to the slightly less terrible one! Let’s go! Donald Trump Pro: His tiny hands make it…
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Matt is a regular guy. He has a job. He loves his dog. He says “no homo” unnecessarily after regular male-to-male interactions. He’s a regular guy. But Matt…Matt voted. And it mattered. It was Matt’s first election voting. He finally registered to vote online a few months after his girlfriend reminded him to do so. On Election Day, he went to the polling place. He only knew where to go because his mom texted him…
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’Tis that joyous time of year when you learn via Facebook that your cousin’s ex-boyfriend is super politically engaged, and by super politically engaged we mean well-informed in click-bait articles and politically incorrect memes. The best part about Facebook profiles is that you know immediately whom that person is voting for based on a few key components. This means that you can automatically judge that person to the proper degree based on a quick glance…
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As the votes pour in and the final polls get counted, they show a sharp increase in support for third-party candidates like Gary Johnson and Jill Stein. Dr. Jill Stein has carried the stoners for most of the election, most likely because they thought the Green Party had more to do with weed than it actually does. Recent polls, however, have shown that more and more stoners are switching over to the Libertarian Party…
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Fake eyes, a hairy dolphin costume, and a bag of candies and condoms—these make up the fuel for the perfect nightmare, otherwise known as The Party Porpoise. The Party Porpoise has been haunting campus and spreading its message of being safe at parties in the most terrifying way possible: by literally showing up in full dolphin costume at your front door. The only way it could be creepier is if it wore clown makeup and…
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The following is a transcript of an interview with the raccoons of Lake Forest conducted in August of 2016. ANDERSON: They’re new. They’re exciting. They’re smelly. You’ve never met a family like them. Discovered by Lake Forest Associate Professor Ben Goluboff while on one of his nighttime bird-watching stints, they’re the subjects of a new reality show coming to a little-known Lake Forest TV channel. Its name? Rummaging with the Raccoons. We are joined today…
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