Lake Forest College is pleased to announce its newest study abroad program: Hell!
Are you sick of the brutal Illinois winters? Do you want to meet new people of all ages, races, and backgrounds? Do you want to experience a totally new place and culture? Look no further than Hell!
That’s right, where the Devil lives. The one with all the fire. Where evil people go to when they die. You don’t have to wait that long – you can go next semester! Applications can be made through my.lakeforest, and all rising junior and senior students are eligible to apply.
Lake Forest has incredible connections with Hell – it’s only 30 miles below the ground! While in Hell, you must complete a 2- or 3-credit internship, in addition to taking classes at Underworld University (a member of the Associated Colleges of the Midwest).
Internship options include opportunities to shadow demons, torturers, and FAFSA officials. You will be assigned an advisor who will send you constant emails but never answer your questions; it is unlikely you will notice a difference between your Hell advisor and your regular LFC advisor.
Hell also offers a variety of classes, ranging from “How to Avoid Damnation” to “Advanced Witchcraft.” There are also frequent lectures from visiting angel professors, covering topics such as “God Is Serious About That One” and “The Pros and Cons of Harp Music.” Don’t miss this opportunity to broaden your horizons and fulfill those pesky GEC requirements.
Housing accommodations are exceptionally generous, as Satan is dedicated to your comfort. First and foremost, each student gets a single room, complete with a double bed of nails, as well as a private bath (note: the shower rains fire). Each room is outfitted with a closet filled with Hell’s uniform: ill-fitting jumpsuits made of eyelashes.
Students are also provided with a desk (made of slime), a chair (made of lava), and a mirror (that always adds 10 pounds). There are 3 luxury residence halls in Hell, and you will be assigned to the one most closely fitting your sinful past. Aramark provides all food on campus; this is Hell, after all.
Disclaimer: All stories in The Chive are works of fiction. People involved in the stories may not have knowledge of their involvement. This section is meant to serve as a humorous break from the daily grind.
