By Andrea Goreta ’25
Staff Writer
Look around yourself. How many people have met their significant other online? For me, this question was raised when I realized that many people I know have met their partners online. One friend met her boyfriend, and another met his girlfriend on a dating app. One friend started her relationship with a guy while being 6,000 miles apart; even my aunt started dating her boyfriend after they got to know each other over a dating website.
All of them are in long, stable relationships, but to me it seems quite impossible to meet someone online, and step by step, raise that acquaintance to a new level. So, where is the romance from rom-com movies? Where is the love at first sight?
I’ve started using dating apps some months ago, and to be completely honest, it goes terribly. How are all these people meeting someone and building a serious relationship online? Is it really possible to find true love in the virtual world of the 2020s?
Let me be immediately clear—I can’t provide you with this answer. But let’s think about it this way: Nowadays, everything is available online. You don’t have to leave your house for grocery shopping, getting restaurant food, or buying clothes. You can find everything online, and with several clicks, make an order and wait for items to be delivered. So, could a romantic partner be ordered and delivered? Well, I don’t think so. Unfortunately, love doesn’t work that way. Some people might expect this scenario will happen, and that’s where the problem starts.
The thing with meeting people online is we need to put more effort into working things out with someone. The internet might make shopping easier, but finding a romantic partner is definitely harder; although, there might be a great message behind this: the matching algorithm can’t really know whether two people will click or not.
We swipe right and left, and sometimes send that super like (I hate when that happens), but can we indeed know if we like someone based on several photos and two or three simple facts that they have shared about themselves?
Every conversation begins in a similar way—small talk or a classic pick-up line. After a while, I have realized I do not have any intention to meet men who have the same questions, topics, and interests. So, I asked people I know—how have you managed to build something serious after meeting someone online?
Believe it or not, all of them had the same answer. They were texting for over a month before they went out on the first date. They tended to talk every day and got to know each other over texts and phone calls. After they were sure that the person on the other side of the phone was real, they agreed to go out. That’s how their stories started. These people didn’t see dating apps as sites where you can “order” someone, but rather as a site used to socialize despite COVID-19 safety measures, busy schedules, and distance.
Next time, when you think of dating apps, think of them as platforms that connect you with other people, rather than platforms that find you love and a relationship. Don’t skip steps; take it slow. Start a conversation and talk about different things without any pressure. Just as in-person, it takes time, patience, and the ability to understand to find the way to someone’s heart.
