For those of you who already can’t remember, October 9, 2015 was Lake Forest College’s Homecoming weekend where, celebrating our Forester pride, students welcomed alums, hoped for victory against Knox, and of course…had a fun, safe, and clean good time.
The weekend started out on a seemingly normal note with activities such as playing the animated film “Inside Out” on the quad, fireworks over Young Hall, bonfires, and live music accompanied by complimentary snacks. As students gazed into the blazing glory of that bonfire, little did they know the real heat of the purging that was to come.
Saturday morning, South was woken up not by the football team’s march, accompanied by those wonderfully angelic bagpipes, but by females screaming in what this reporter presumes was with excitement for the parade, tailgating, and the game. Arriving at the parade, there were sunglasses on smiling faces, whether are not it was protection from the sun or protection from bloodshot eyes, we’ll never know.
After Lake Forest College’s crushing victory, the campus rejoiced and came together to celebrate the team’s success. Behind closed doors, you could hear loud squeals and music and the joining of Solo cups cheering, most likely filled with juice, for an innocent fun-loving time.
It was Sunday morning when we were all woken up to a disturbing sight and a particular odor in the air. All of South Campus was covered in puke! Oatmeal-
like piles of puke everywhere you went: the staircases, the grass, the benches, on RA’s doors, communal showers, on bike racks, on bikes, on people on bikes, and on top of trash cans for those who were so damn close.
It was a nightmare, as people woke up to sluggishly head to Sunday brunch with barely opened eyes inevitably slipping and falling everywhere without warning. There weren’t enough “Caution Wet Floor” signs in the world to keep the commute to Middle safe.
No one seemed to understand where all this puke was coming from. Was it Saturday morning’s breakfast? Was it the wonderfully provided tailgating food? Stomach virus? Ebola’s return? It was unfathomable what could have happened over the course of Homecoming weekend that would make students upchuck Aramark’s food all over the campus in conspicuous piles.
Whenever an interview was attempted that Sunday morning, it was rejected with “Why are you talking so loud?!” and “Shut off that light!” and many requests for Motrin or any headache reliever.
Though we may never know what caused this abdominal eruption we know no students were severely hurt, besides those who had to do laundry that very same Sunday and combat a weekend’s worth of homework in the library.
