Chive – Page 21 – the Stentor

Students Rally to Elect Chef Reuben as President of the College

Posted on March 3, 2015December 18, 2015 by Camille Lemieux

Several students at Lake Forest College have gathered together and decided to elect Reuben, a member of the staff at the cafeteria, as the president of the college, following a recent increase of criticism on the College’s methods, such as SPARK’s budget use and dysfunctional internet connection on campus. The student body organized a process in which Reuben held an open space, sort of office hours, to personally address each individual’s concerns and ideas about…

‘Undecided’ Becomes the College’s Most Popular Major

Posted on March 3, 2015December 18, 2015 by Camille Lemieux

The solution to all undecided Lake Forest College students is here, “Undecided” is becoming the new major offered the next academic year for all students. Now all you undecided juniors and seniors can go back to partying and Netflix rather than worrying what your future holds and whether you’ll be able to provide for yourself once mommy and daddy cut you off. When declaring yourself an undecided major, you can choose any advisor you want, literally, you…

Forever Alone on Valentine’s Day: Tips to Get Through the Pain

Posted on February 10, 2015December 18, 2015 by Jack Loessberg

Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, and as many of us know, it is a holiday where you will either cherish a special loved one like you should have been doing all year round or sob in the showers about your eternal loneliness. Let’s be real, if you are getting a gift on campus, you should be lucky if that “special someone” gets you a P.O.D. bought heart shaped candy box. It is not unusual…

Dean Pollom to Grant Every Student One Wish

Posted on February 10, 2015December 18, 2015 by Camille Lemieux

Author: Camille Lemieux ’17 Managing Editor Dean Pollom has decided to grant all Lake Forest College students one wish each, starting February 10th, 2015. “I want every student to be happy and comfortable during their time here. I decided to implement this new program to give every student a voice on campus.” This plan is part one of a three-stage initiative to promote equality and happiness for all students. Rumors hint that stages two and…

Average Student Realizes Lake Forest College Has a Library

Posted on February 10, 2015December 18, 2015 by Jack Loessberg

Lin Go, a student at Lake Forest College, found out that there is a library on campus that is available to students for all their study needs. “All those times my friends said they were going to the ‘lib,’ I just thought that was a cool place to hang out, like a café or something. I never thought it was lingo for library,” says Lin Go, “I wonder what else I’ve been missing.” The answer,…

My Night at the Lantern: Seeking a Sugar Daddy

Posted on February 10, 2015December 18, 2015 by Jack Loessberg

Sitting in a booth on Monday night at The Lantern wasn’t very threatening to me; the cheap green leather seats cushioned by butt and I devoured my fifty cent wings in harmonious glory. I avoided the bar area, hoping that the only thing touching my ass tonight was the booth, and the only thing touching my tits was wing sauce dripping down my chest. Damn those wings. When I felt a cold finger tap my…

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