Katelyn O’Callaghan – the Stentor

Trumplestiltskin and Musty confirm love affair

Posted on April 18, 2025April 18, 2025 by Katelyn O'Callaghan

38 Spellings ‘25 Staff ChefItssatireipromise;)@oceanjungle.edu SATIRE—On Tuesday, April 1, President Orange Trumplestiltskin announced his torrid love affair with tech billionaire Eww Musty. After the New Tork Yimes revealed footage of Musty passionately sucking Trumplestiltskin’s toes, the White House held a press release conference that confirmed the relationship between the two. “I took the ‘T’ out of LGB to make it stand for something new…and that something is me, Trumplestiltskin,” said Trumplestiltskin in the press release. Musty…

Lois, Gregory, McClure, and Roberts Voted Best Dorms on Campus

Posted on April 18, 2025April 18, 2025 by Katelyn O'Callaghan

38 Spellings ‘25 Staff Chefitssatireipromise;)@oceanjungle.edu In a recent survey conducted by Residential Life to assess student satisfaction with dorm living, Lois, Gregory, Roberts, and McClure tied as the top dorms on campus. Freshman Loe Lover, who lived in Lois this academic year, voted it the best dorm due to its lack of air conditioning and airflow throughout the building. “It’s so nice when you walk in during the summer and feel like you stepped into an…