Jack Loessberg – Page 3

Gates Center Reports Spending 50% of Time Windexing Doors

Posted on April 21, 2016April 21, 2016 by Jack Loessberg

Ever walk through the Student Center and wonder why your grandparents’ patio doors lead to one of the most influential offices on this campus? Ever wonder what the Gates Center does behind those completely clear doors? Ever wonder how the heck they keep those things so dang clean? Wonder no more! The Stentor was given a special VIP pass behind those completely clear doors, and we are here to share it with you. This reporter…

[Five Days For Your Final Paper]

Posted on April 21, 2016 by Jack Loessberg

[Introduction] The prompt. The procrastination. The PANIC. Trust me, honey, we’ve all been there, and I’m not judging you…but with that final paper due in a week, this behavior has got to stop. It’s time to stop thinking and start doing, because as much as you’d like it to, that paper is NOT going to write itself. That’s why I’m giving you a sure-fire plan to write your paper in the next five days so…

A Cure for Napping has been Found!

Posted on April 21, 2016 by Jack Loessberg

Yesterday, there was a discovery into the epidemic known as “Napping.” A cure has been found, and that cure is Red Bull. Researchers at NAP Labs (Narcoleptic and Asleep People) discovered an anomaly at Lake Forest College. This anomaly was none other than Rebecca Howell ’17, an avid consumer of Red Bull, who has not slept since January 2016. Howell, when asked to comment, said that “sleep is for pussies,” then promptly flipped a table…

Batman v Superman: Spoilers

Posted on April 21, 2016 by Jack Loessberg

While the film was jam-packed with special effects, Hollywood darlings, and two of the biggest names in comic book history, I left the theater feeling underwhelmed and disappointed. Full of clichés and anti-climactic filler, I found myself yawning about halfway through and wondering how much more I had to endure. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was not made for comic book fans. It was not a film made for critics. It was made for…

He Says, She Says: Batman vs. Superman

Posted on April 21, 2016 by Jack Loessberg

Since the beginning of our relationship, we have been on opposite sides of the fence over an important issue. Sure, people joke about it and make light of it, but what keeps us up at night is the critical question of who is better… Batman or Superman? In honor of the movie, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, that was released on March 25, we decided to acknowledge the elephant in the room for the…

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