Finals Week Stats
Author: Jack Loessberg
The Chicago Cubs Season
It’s Way Too Late To Make Up Those Participation Points
Late last Sunday afternoon, 75 percent of Lake Forest College students realized with horror that it was way too late to make up those participation points. It was during the usual homework hours following the hangoverfueled cafeteria brunch that the victims remembered their class syllabi stashed away in a pocket of their notebook. Chaos ensued. Students on every floor of the library were seen hurriedly smoothing out crumpled and forgotten class schedules and frantically scanning…
Read MoreIs this offensive? “Maybe so”
We all got that email from Dean Flot a few weeks ago. Some people are taking serious issue with the “Pocahontas and John Smith” party held on campus, and I am too. Can you believe the nerve of some people? The outright DISRESPECT of some people? They didn’t even invite me!!!!! What the hell???? I’m cool, I’m fun, I’m willing to perpetuate hurtful stereotypes until I throw up! I am trying to approach this from…
Read MoreGroup Project Leaves 3 Dead, 1 Wounded
An Introduction to Psychology group project leaves three students dead and one slightly wounded after a Wednesday night meeting in the Donnelley and Lee Library to discuss a project that was going south. Amanda Smith ’19 claims that an unknown assailant burst into their study room and began to use the sharpened candy canes, materials of their experiment, to brutally attack her group members. This was a sudden occurrence, for these four unsuspecting freshmen. The…
Read MoreMY NAME IS MY NAME! LAST TIME I CHACKED….
MY NAME IS MY NAME! LAST TIME I CHACKED…. I AM A-LIVE. I GOT FLASH AND, BONES. I GOT 46 CHROMOZONES! THIS AINT NO, NO TOW ZONE… NOT TODAY! NOPE! NO SIREE BOB! I WILL NOT BE DENIED IN DIS PARKIN’ LOT. C’MON. REALLY? DIS IS SILLY! I JUST WANTED TO GO RUN INTO THA PIGGLY WIGGLY AND GET SOME MILK…FOR MY BABAY BOY. DON’T TOY……………….WITH ME…….I JUST GOT A TICK-ET FOR P-EEING IN PU-BLIC….
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