Health and Wellness Center Staff
@lfchealthandwellness
Editor’s Note: Send any questions to the @lfchealthandwellness instagram account via direct message. All questions will remain anonymous.
Disclaimer: This column does not constitute medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for mental health treatment. If you have a specific concern or situation that requires help, you should always consult with a professional mental health therapist.
Dear Therapist,
I’m really worried about one of my roommates. They are a good friend of mine and it seems that they have been getting sadder and more isolated each week. They now barely leave their room apart from going to class, and it seems like they just want to sleep all the time. I can’t get them to do anything outside of the room with me and they get irritated when I suggest that they try talking to a therapist. What should I do to help them?
-Worried Roommate
Dear Worried Roommate,
It sounds like you are aware that your roommate is demonstrating a lot of the hallmarks of depression. It’s clear that you care about them and they are lucky to have you in their life, despite how irritated they seem when you suggest that they get help. It’s important to remember that people who are depressed act in a distorted way, and can become more impatient or angry with others than is warranted, and so your roommate’s behavior toward you is not personal.
What you should do depends on the severity of their depression. If your roommate expresses thoughts of wanting to hurt themselves, feeling like everything is hopeless, or believing they are a burden on others, you could gently ask if they have ever had suicidal thoughts. If they hesitate, seem unsure, or say yes, you can tell your RA or any staff or faculty member. You can also call the Wellness Whenever Mental Health Support Line (847-735-5300) at any time, night or day, to speak to a licensed crisis counselor. If there is an immediate risk, you can directly call 911. The most important thing is to take your roommate’s statements seriously. Some other warning signs for suicide include: increased drug/alcohol use, giving possessions away, engaging in reckless behavior (i.e. fast driving), isolating from family and friends, and searching online for ways to end their lives.
If your roommate’s depression does not meet the threshold for suicidality, you can suggest that they try engaging in self-care behavior such as contacting parents/friends, eating better, getting exercise, or just taking a walk to get some fresh air. However, it’s important to remember that you can’t force someone to engage in self-care behavior, just as you can’t force someone to go to therapy. You should also consider the impact that your roommate is having on you and your own mental health, which you can explore in your own therapy.
No matter what, you should not feel that you have to manage your roommate’s depression on your own. One option is that you contact your roommate’s parents to let them know what’s going on, as they might already have experience with helping your roommate through a depressive episode. And there are always resources for your roommate as well as for yourself, both on-campus and off-campus.
To schedule an intake appointment with the Health and Wellness Center, you can book an appointment online via lakeforest.studenthealthportal.com or call 847-735-5240. The Health and Wellness Center also offers Let’s Talk, which are free, confidential drop-in hours in the basement of Rosemary House on Mondays from 11am-12pm and Wednesdays from 1pm-2pm, as well as virtually on Thursdays from 4-5pm.
If you are experiencing a non-emergency mental health crisis at any time (24/7/365), you can call the Wellness Whenever Mental Support Line at 847-735-5300. Additional crisis resources include: the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call 988), the Crisis Text Line (text 741-741), the Trevor Project for LGBTQ youth (call 866-488-7386 or text 678-678), and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (call 800-799-7232).