Dear Rain,
You ran train today rain, you wasn’t pourin’ dat liquid like a little girl’s lemonade, stand, you wasn’t on dat once ary hour, youse was pourin’ all day from beginning to, ay- nd, use was on dat long ass shower, Y’all know what I’m talkin’ bout, Dem showers when use was a teenager and yuh moms was yelling, “Hey you’re usin’ up all dat hot wata, your sista has a date wit da hottest/richest kid in da school be a good broo, don’t scroo us ov-uh! Son, not even the weather mon had the pow-uh, to predict this one, the verdict is in, we gone need to double fist umbrellas like we drinkin’! Bud, the light, I’m talkin’ Gud, da lord, called Noah and said screw da ark we gone need a spaceship! Elon Musk, getting’ stressed out, sayin’ even Tesla can’t save us, man dis rain is a pain in my anus, I mean I ain’t use to dis Seattle weather, that’s all I’m sayin’, I ain’t gone lose sleep tho, I know my bro, Da Sun, will be up eventually (Insert Tame Impala sample), it’ll be heavenly, like warm chocolate chip cookies, I can smell it G, auto’s on the street slippin’ and slidnin’ like kidz doin’ dey sheet, pleeze rain just stop, I’m not a cop policin’ yuh rain grind, but the Deerpath basement jus flooded, LFC students be lookin’ like mer-mons and mermaids, Spongebob be thrownin’ me shade, like, “where yuh lame side kick at the one with the barnacle face?” Like Wohhhhhhhhh (Drake wohhhhh) so wet I swear I saw Steph Curry, I be jumpin’ over puddles in a hurry, to class, I think you get the mess-age, I’m agin’ dis getting’ old. Stop makin’ it rain, Rain, planet Earth ain’t a strip club Rain, I’m not Magic Mike, mane.
From,
acflowaday
A Letter from Rain
(Written By acflowaday, pretending to be Rain)
Dear acflowaday,
Oh, I’m sorry AC. My bad, bruh. I’ll stop rainin’ man. Oh by the way, I think your raps are dope. Never stop flowin.’
From,
Rain
acflowaday got so much enjoyment out of writing letters to himself posing as Rain, that he decided to buy an extra phone so Rain could have a phone # and he could text Rain (which is actually himself). The convo reads as follows…
acflowaday: Wuddup Rain? Rain: Nothin.
acflowaday: You good? Rain: Yeah.
acflowaday: I’m sorry for tellin’ you not to rain the other day, I know that’s kinda your thing and all.
acflowaday: Yo, have you seen Star Wars? acflowaday: Rain?
acflowaday started to catch Rain’s drift (or his own drift?). acflowaday realized that it was wrong for him to tell Rain to stop Raining. It was like if Rain told acflowaday to stop flowin’. So, acflowaday decided to send Rain edible arrangements as an apology. However, when acflowaday called Edible Arrangements he ran into some issues. The following is a phone conversation between acflowaday and an Edible Arrangement Employee:
Employee: Hello?
acflowaday: Hi, yeah, I would like to send Rain an edible arrangement.
Employee: Oh, ok. What’s Rain’s address? acflowaday: Uhhhh (starts to panic), he doesn’t really have an address. Here, why don’t you just send it to me and I can just give it to him.
Employee: All right.
A couple days later, acflowaday got an email from Lake Forest College’s mail services that Rain’s edible arrangements had arrived. When acflowaday went to go pick up the bouquet of fruit, it started to rain outside. acflowaday looked up at the sky feeling an immense amount of happiness. The cold rain sent a tingling sensation through his spine, touching his soul.
*******A wise talking squirrel starts narrating, on his Morgan Freeman shit; as if this little blurb was a movie, the camera zooms in on the squirrel as he begins to speak************
Morgan Freeman Squirrel: Yuh see, acflowaday knew all along it was kinda crazy for him to personify Rain, by talking to himself, and taking it to a whole ‘nother level by sending himself fruit, but when he looked up at the sky, he thought, maybe he wasn’t talking to himself. Maybe he wasn’t insane, and Rain was talking back to him the entire time. Or, maybe he’s just a crazy dude who ordered himself edible arrangements. However, one thing is for certain, Rain made that man feel a lot things, shouldn’t that count for something? I don’t know. I mean I guess I’m just a squirrel on my Morgan Freeman shit.
