Freshmen Advice

Rifah Raida ‘28
raidar@lakeforest.edu
A&E Editor

SATIRE – With these 10 tips and tricks, you’ll be the quintessential Lake Forest College student!

1. Scream at least once a day right smack in the middle of the cafeteria.
2. Everyone uses rolling backpacks. Do NOT be caught dead without one.
3. Blow all your Boomer Bucks on Cyber Cafe bagels – nothing else is worth it.
4. Throw water balloons at every PubSafe car that drives by; they loveeeee it.
5. Make sure to register for all 8:00 a.m. classes (early bird gets ALL the worms)…(bonus points for anything science-related).
6. Remember that the syllabus is just a suggestion. Ignore it completely.
7. Do not do laundry. That is soooo 2016. Now, we just buy new clothes when you run out.
8. Wait until the very last minute to get your assignments done. Who needs weeks of planning when you can write a 10-page research paper at 3 a.m. in a caffeine-induced panic?
9. Chat GPT is your holy grail. Try to use it for every assignment, especially the ones that are basically 50% of your grade.
10. Lastly, make sure you bring some room decor to make the space feel like home. We suggest scented candles, space heaters, and any questionable electrical setups – just all the fire hazards you’ve got.