Ever walk through the Student Center and wonder why your grandparents’ patio doors lead to one of the most influential offices on this campus? Ever wonder what the Gates Center does behind those completely clear doors? Ever wonder how the heck they keep those things so dang clean?
Wonder no more! The Stentor was given a special VIP pass behind those completely clear doors, and we are here to share it with you. This reporter stood in awe from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., watching the Gates Center Staff clean their doors. The process took all morning and four bottles of Windex, but, boy, those doors sure were shiny. I asked how they keep the doors so clean all afternoon, and I was told that the Gates Center uses the American branch of the window-washing company that cleans the Louvre. These highly-trained specialists swoop in to clean any stray fingerprints and smudges that may creep up during the course of the afternoon; these window ninjas are silent, deadly, and invisible. Having ventured into the Gates Center a total of zero times in my time as a student here, I can truly say: it is worth it.
Why is it so important that the Gates Center have totally transparent doors? It turns out that the Gates family also owns significant stock in S.C. Johnson, the company that produces Windex, as well as the My Big Fat Greek Wedding franchise. In the wise words of Gus Portokalos, “Put some Windex on it.”
As they say, those who live in glass houses…should clean them constantly.
