Three weeks ago, security cameras were installed in the notorious party dormitory, Moore Hall. While many were expecting an outrage and protest of the installation, the result has been quite the opposite. Students are actually excited about the new surveillance cameras.
“I love how there is now a recording of me adjusting my bra when I’m walking down an empty hallway,” said one enthusiastic female student.
In his e-mail, Dean Pollum assured students that these cameras were not meant to detract from the party scene. “Students will continue to be able to engage with each other throughout the building…host gatherings and parties,” he said.
Due to its close proximity to the Sports Center, Moore Hall houses a lot of varsity athletes. Now with these cameras, the whole school can finally find out once and for all, which varsity team really hosts the best parties (it has been rumored that the football and hockey teams are amongst the best party throwers).
Although the cameras will be placed only in common areas, parties will flow out into the hallway because of the small sizes of the rooms and the large number of partygoers packed together.
Students aren’t the only ones benefiting from the new cameras: a public safety officer expressed his excitement by saying: “For years and years, I have always been trying to find a way to be involved in the party scene, but everyone always runs when they see me. I know this is finally my way in!”
Other dormitory halls are jealous they don’t have cameras installed in their common areas. Gregory and McClure Halls have high rankings for best parties, but residents feel they are not getting the proper credit they deserve since there is no video evidence of what really goes on.
Many Moore residents will miss the way their shoes stick to the beer-soaked floor on Sunday mornings, trash strewn around, and the homey smell produced by fire against the pine doors, however, they realize that the positives outweigh the negatives in this situation.
