Author: Camille Lemieux ’17 Managing Editor
Dean Pollom has decided to grant all Lake Forest College students one wish each, starting February 10th, 2015.
“I want every student to be happy and comfortable during their time here. I decided to implement this new program to give every student a voice on campus.” This plan is part one of a three-stage initiative to promote equality and happiness for all students. Rumors hint that stages two and three include free tuition and employing personal chefs as an alternative to the dining plan.
Many students have rejoiced after hearing about this plan. Richard Hansen ’18 said, “This is the coolest thing that has happened to me since I came to the College. I thought about transferring because I felt that it was hard to connect to other students on campus. But now I can make a wish that they all become my friend!”
While this initiative is a huge step forward for the College, some students have reservations about it. “It’s hard to choose the right wish. Do I want amazing food in the cafeteria or the ability to teleport across campus? It’s a hard decision to make,” said Joanna Goodson ’16. However, the decision may not be as hard to make once you read Dean Pollom’s rules and regulations for student wishes.
First, students must attend at least one event on campus hosted by Residence Life. Students will then receive an email with directions on how to make their wish. Although some have protested that students will do anything to avoid an event hosted by Res Life, some remain optimistic. Make note, however, that these wishes come with a catch.
According to Article V in the Wish Granting Residence Life Policy, “No wish may harm any student or faculty member at the College. In addition, no wish may break the rules in the Student Handbook.” While this may come as a downer for some students, the Policy does not state any restrictions on rewriting the Student Handbook itself.
When asked what gave him the idea for this initiative, Dean Pollom replied, “It’s time for a change on campus. We need to work together to make the College what it has the potential to be. This initiative is the first step toward making everyone excited to attend this school, excited to be kind to one another, and excited to do their best.” Students who have previously violated the Code of Conduct may apply for an appeal to Dean Pollom, provided that they also agree to become Resident Assistants.
“We need more students to apply to this program,” said Stacy Oliver. “If students who have previously broken rules vow to turn over a new leaf, we will allow them to participate in this exciting opportunity.” It seems students have a chance to make their mark on campus in nearly unlimited ways.
As students begin making wishes in the next few weeks, feel free to send in funny stories, exciting discoveries, or critical feedback to chive@lakeforest.edu. We at the Stentor look forward to seeing how this new allocation changes attitudes and behaviors at the College.
Disclaimer: All stories in The Chive are works of fiction. People involved in the stories may not have knowledge of their involvement. This section is meant to serve as a humorous break from the daily grind.
