Chive – Page 11 – the Stentor

AN INTERVIEW: The Raccoons of Lake Forest

Posted on October 19, 2016January 2, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

The following is a transcript of an interview with the raccoons of Lake Forest conducted in August of 2016. ANDERSON: They’re new. They’re exciting. They’re smelly. You’ve never met a family like them. Discovered by Lake Forest Associate Professor Ben Goluboff while on one of his nighttime bird-watching stints, they’re the subjects of a new reality show coming to a little-known Lake Forest TV channel. Its name? Rummaging with the Raccoons. We are joined today…

Appropriation of Ghost Culture Continues This Halloween

Posted on October 19, 2016January 2, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

It’s 2016, and America is the most progressive society that will ever exist. We have already solved many of the world’s problems, but there is one recurring issue that rears its head every October. I’m talking about the cultural appropriation of ghosts. Every year we dress up as ghosts and adorn our houses with their images, without thinking once about the struggle ghosts go through. Ghosts have a rich culture stretching all the way back…

A Letter To Fall: Go Home, No One Likes You

Posted on October 19, 2016January 2, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

Dear Fall, Get over yourself. No one asked for you to arrive with your sweater weather and pumpkin-spiced stupidity. Everyone knows you are just a frame of weather that must be endured to get to the good stuff—winter. You are the opening band, the preamble, the warm-up comedian. In other words: you’re stupid. Don’t try to warm us up with your crisp leaves and buttery lattes—we see right through you. You are nothing but winter’s…

Aramark at Center of a Massive Web of Conspiracies

Posted on October 19, 2016January 2, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

Shhhhh… Come here. Lean in closer, reader. This is a secret. What I’m about to tell you is top-secret information. DON’T tell anyone. I shouldn’t even be talking about this right now. You’ve heard of the Illuminati, right? What would you say if I told you that Aramark, the people who feed us every single day, are closely tied to that organization? A-R-A-M-A-R-K. Seven letters. I-L-L-U-M-I-N-A-T-I. Ten letters. That’s almost the same amount of letters!…

Johnson Construction Camera Catches Sludge Monster On Tape

Posted on October 19, 2016January 2, 2017 by Camille Lemieux

As Halloween approaches and a clown epidemic sweeps through the nation, it seems that there is evil afoot. Even here, at our wonderful college in Lake Forest, Illinois, we are not spared from the eeriness of October and the oddities she brings. As many are aware, the new science center construction has been broadcast via a live feed for the whole school to see. This allows us to document the great progress being made and…

Ballskis

Posted on September 27, 2016November 29, 2016 by Camille Lemieux

« 1 … 9 10 11 12 13 … 22 »