by KELLEN LIEB ’20
I have done it! I have completed a challenge I thought impossible. I ate only POD sushi for a whole month. And I only cried every day.
It should be noted that I am not a doctor nor did I consult any medical experts during this endeavor. Having no medical records, all I can tell you are my feelings. One word: Terrible. Also, I think my sodium intake shot through the roof from all the soy sauce.
I felt tired and sluggish all month; I didn’t have any energy to do the things I love and it was causing strain on my relationships with the people who were close to me.
I’m not saying POD sushi is, in itself, terrible. It can be fine, in moderation. Anything in excess is terrible—and POD sushi is no exception. But I think I made it worse, just like in the film Supersize Me.
I figured that a person can’t survive only on sushi, so, to get enough nutrients, I also ate bags of Bugles, the chip that you can stab someone with. These were the things I would eat. I didn’t limit what I would drink, but I mostly drank Squirt soda. I was on a bit of a nineties kick.
I have no message about health or how bad food can be or about the quality of POD food in general. I did this, because, why not? I didn’t have anything else to do. I should really reevaluate my life.
The advice I would give to anyone else trying to attempt this is: don’t. There is absolutely no need for you to do it. There was no need for me to do it. Frankly, I blame my editor for all of this, because he tells me what to do and I do it.
This article has really gone off-point, but then again, I also am lying to you about eating sushi for a month. I don’t know what I’m doing at this point. I’ve run out of things to say. And I’m tired of lying about everything. It’s all a façade. Nothing I say is true. Even I don’t know when I’m lying, at this point. I don’t even know who I am! Who am I? Am I Kellen or is that just another one of the lies I tell myself so I can sleep at night?
What am I so scared of that makes me lie like this? That gives me this self-doubt. This article isn’t even clever like last month’s. It’s a cry for help. This isn’t funny, I’m not having a good time. All I can do is try my best to write these things and hide away.
I have to go think about some stuff. I’ll see you in the next edition.
Kellen Lieb can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org