1) Mom said, “No.”
You can never be too old to use this classic excuse. As a child, this was the best way to get out of plans. Who’s to say it has to stop now that you are in college?
2) My pet died.
Everyone has a heart for animals, and you do not have to use the classic “dog” excuse to get it to work. It can be your cat, llama, platypus, or your beloved lucky cricket. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be your pet. It could be your best friend’s grandmother’s aunt’s daughter’s granddaughter’s goldfish. But you are the legal godparent and, therefore, need to be present for Rainbow Sparkle’s flushing ceremony.
3) Grandma asked me to do her a favor.
Along with pets, nobody has the heart to argue with a sweet old lady. Especially when she bakes such delicious cookies. It doesn’t matter what the favor is. Any favor is valid when Grandma is the one asking.
4) I have to go to class.
This is especially useful if you have no classes with this person. Or, better yet, they don’t even attend your college. If they question why you have class on a Saturday, you can just say that you’re not the professor and you have no say in deciding the class schedule.
5) I already have plans.
To make this excuse particularly non-negotiable, you can say you made the plans months or even years ago. Not only that, but they are plans with your closest friend who is coming in from Antarctica for a short visit before returning to live for 10 years amongst the Empire Penguins for an extended senior research project.
6) It’s Bingo Night.
No one can resist a good bingo game, especially when there are prizes involved. Nothing is better than free stuff. You also have the option of following up by bragging that you are the youngest person in the nursing home.
7) I have “homework.”
What they don’t know is that your homework is to watch a fascinating documentary about a father searching for his son with a woman who has short-term memory loss–more commonly known as Finding Nemo.
8) I’m allergic to you.
You can follow up to that by saying, “What I meant to say is that I have an allergic reaction to your shampoo.” What they don’t know is that you are actually allergic to their personality.
9) I have to catch up on Netflix.
If this person really is your true friend, they have to learn to accept the fact that Netflix comes first in the relationship. Obviously, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are your true friends because they’ll be there for you.
10) Nope.
Sometimes honesty is the best policy. It really helps in a friendship if you are honest with each other and get everything out in the open. Trust me, they may act like they are hurt, but in reality—deep, deep down—they appreciate your bluntness.
